I certainly cannot speak for every woman, mother or wife, but I know a few things that I feel I should share. When you’re young and single rarely do you appreciate what that means. It means that you can come and go as you please. It means that your money is your own and you are not obligated to do anything with it but what you please. It means that you can travel, explore and move as you please. It is an amazing and wonderful period in life that we, as women often give up too soon! Now this isn’t to say that being a mother and or wife isn’t amazing in its own right. I am a mother of two children. I am also married. I am very blessed and I am appreciative of what I have.
The problem I believe is that many women get married and or have children before we realize who we are or what we want. By the time we realize where we want to be or who we want to be, achieving it is so difficult because we have so many other obligations and our desires can no longer be our priority. We have children who need raising, husbands who need praising and bills, bills, bills….
We cannot go back in time and get a redo but we can find some much-needed balance! First things first, YOU ARE A PRIORITY!!!! If you are not well, then you cannot take care of your family and other obligations. If your family is used to you constantly caring for them with no regards to your own needs getting them to understand you ‘new’ self-care time, and or requirement maybe a little difficult. To make it easy, make it a regularly occurring event. For example, let your family know that the first Saturday of every month is your day and you will be spending that time alone. Or let them know that you want to go back to school and doing so is going to require a little sacrifice from everyone.
Also, get comfortable with people, (and in some cases your own husband) thinking you’re selfish. Yes, your husband. This is the thing, often they just don’t get it. They probably grew up with a super woman for a mom who selflessly cared for them and their siblings with little care for her own wellbeing. KUDOS TO HER!!!!! But that doesn’t have to be you, and its not a requirement of a good wife and or mother. You are a person. You have needs, and you need to care for yourself. Or maybe they married you with the understanding that you were to take up a certain role, and somewhere in the shuffle you changed and need something new. Whatever the case is you may be thought of as a BITCH because you’re ready to take care of yourself. Being thought of in this way can be hurtful, but you have to live each and every day that you wake up, and you have to figure out what’s most important, being thought of in a positive way or living a positive life.
In short, be selfish sometimes. Be happy all the time. Don’t forget about (insert your name here), because she’s amazing……….
Reach out, I’d love to hear from you!